


The Faerie With a Broken Wing

by Northern_Lady



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cuddles, Depression, Drinking to Cope, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Fae & Fairies, Friendship/Love, Life Debt, Loki Fanfic - Freeform, Loki Is Not Evil, Magic, OC POV, POV First Person, Panic Attacks, Protective Loki (Marvel), Rating May Change, Recovery, Rescuing Each Other, Romance, Sarcasm, Strangers to Lovers, Svartálfaheimr | Svartalfheim, Title Changed, Trust Issues, accepting rescue anyway, loki survives Thanos, not looking to be rescued
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-15 07:11:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14785850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northern_Lady/pseuds/Northern_Lady
Summary: In this AU Loki survives Thanos and is picked up in space by a scavenger ship. The pilot is a faerie of Svartalfheim who trusts no one, at least not at first.





	1. Chapter 1

It was easily the best salvage field I had ever had the privilege of plundering. The wreckage was immense. A ship had been blown up and as far as I could tell, I was the first one there to sift through the wreckage. Sure, there were dead bodies floating in space too but it’s not as if I’d never seen dead bodies before. Besides, there was nothing more I could do for them. They were dead. All I could do was take care of myself, to see to my own survival, and I did that by scavenging through the wreckage for anything of value. I would resell everything I found later and have enough food and supplies to last me another couple of months. There was no wrong in doing what I had to do to survive. I had been picking through the debris for more than an hour, remotely picking up items to take aboard my small ship when I realized that someone out there was alive. 

“Shit,” I muttered, seeing the man dressed in green and black twitch a little as he floated past. If he was strong enough to survive in open space for this long, I could only imagine how powerful he would be when he recovered. I shouldn’t help him. I would only be putting myself in danger if I did. I watched him as he struggled to breathe, eyes half open and hated myself for having any compassion whatsoever. I hit the button on the control screen in front of me and sent my robotic drone to pick him up. 

While the drone brought my patient to the cargo bay, I went to one of my storage lockers and pulled out a set of vibranium cuffs. I hurried to get into the cargo bay and put the cuffs on him before he became conscious. It was the only way I could hope to keep myself safe once he recovered, if he recovered. 

My patient was out cold on the floor of the cargo bay. His skin was blue, his half open eyes were red, and his clothes were well made items of black and green. I picked up his arms and locked the cuffs into place and then stood back and waited. He was breathing and he looked fairly strong. Maybe I could sell him to the slavers. But no, I had never liked dealing with the slavers. There were as likely to take me as a slave or steal my cargo as to give me a decent price and be on their way like they ought to. The slave traders couldn’t be trusted. What the hell was I supposed to do with him if he did recover? 

“Hey Bot,” I said to my drone. “Take him to bunk three and lock him in.” I told my machine who was almost like a pet. “Then come back to the cargo bay and get back to work.” 

My drone picked up my new patient and carried him to one of my three bunks, the one furthest from mine. The bot pulled down the metal cage curtain over the side of the bunk and locked it shut. Then as ordered it went back out the cargo bay doors into the debris field to continue my salvage operation. 

A few hours passed and I was beginning to think that maybe my patient had died after all. I didn’t want to have to deal with cleaning up the mess if he had died. Dead people were gross. They always wet the bed and made everything stink. It had probably been a huge mistake to pick him up at all. Bot had picked up a lot of valuable junk in the last few hours though so at least I had that going for me. 

Then I heard a clatter back in the direction of bunk three. It was the sound of metal hitting metal. “Hey…” a voice called out rather weakly. 

I got up from the pilot seat and went to the back of the ship. My patient was awake and wasn’t the same anymore. He now had white skin and green eyes. It creeped me out that he had changed like that. “What the hell…? You used to be blue. Who are you? What are you?” I asked, rather harshly because I was creeped out. “How did you survive out there anyway?”

“I am Loki, of Asgard and Jotunheim. I have a great ability to heal and magic to change my form. Where am I?” he asked me. 

His answer didn’t make a lot of sense. I was familiar with either of those places and he couldn’t be from both, plus anyone who could heal like that was definitely a threat and magic from unknown races could be unpredictable. “In space.” I replied anyway, “I picked you up during my salvage operation. I’m Jaece. And before you ask, I’m not letting you out of there. I’ll drop you off at the nearest planet and you can be on your way.” 

“Then I thank you for not leaving me out there to die,” Loki said. “How far to the nearest planet?” 

“A few days,” I said with a shrug. I wasn’t really sure of the answer. My travels were always rather random. It could honestly be more like a couple of weeks to the nearest planet. 

“Will I be permitted to eat in those few days?” he asked. 

I sighed. This was a factor I hadn’t thought about. He would need to eat and use the bathroom and maybe even shower unless I wanted to live with his stench. “That depends,” I finally answered. 

“On what?” he asked, seemingly annoyed. 

“On how well you behave,” I replied, just as annoyed. 

“I am a prince. I was raised in the palace on Asgard. I can promise you I will be the perfect gentleman,” he told me rather sincerely. 

“A prince?” I didn’t believe a word of it. “Then you should know, I grew up in a palace too. Not as royalty but as an orphan and street rat who lived in the palace wine cellar. You know what I learned about princes in all that time?” 

“What did you learn?” he asked warily. 

“That they can’t be trusted,” I said, taking a step back to reach a protein bar from a nearby shelf. I tossed it through the bars at him. “Dinner is served your majesty,” I said and left him to return to the pilot seat. 

“My thanks to you for sharing your food,” Loki called out from the back of my ship. 

I ignored his polite thanks and set to work calling bot back to the ship so we could set course for the nearest planet. I had already found just about everything of value that I could on the debris. 

“What palace did you grow up in?” he said again, apparently trying to engage me in conversation. 

“Svartalfheim,” I replied, having nothing better to do than answer him. 

“You don’t look like a dark elf,” he noted. 

“Svartalfheim is also home to plenty of trolls, dwarves, and faeries too,” I said as I input the coordinates for our destination. 

“I’ve never met a faerie or a troll,” Loki continued. “You look nothing like a dwarf except that you are rather short.” 

I thought about just telling him I was a faerie and getting it over with but quickly decided against it. Dwarves were very strong and most faeries had plenty of defensive magic. It was safer for me if he didn’t know what I could do. Besides, it kind of seemed like he was half Jotun and half Asgardian and there was no telling what sort of powers he had being those races. I couldn’t afford to tell him much. 

“If you’d rather not talk to me, perhaps you could lend me one of those books on your shelf over there?” Loki asked me. 

The ship was on auto pilot so I got up and trudged to the back of the ship. “What book would the prince like to read?” I said, still irritated with him for reasons that I could not articulate. “My library only contains three.” 

“The one in the middle will do just fine,” he said. 

I reached up and took down my copy of Tales of the Nine Realms and pushed it between the bars so that it landed on his chest. With his hands in cuffs it was difficult for him to open the book or hold it to read. 

“It would be helpful if I did not need to wear these,” he commented. 

“I’m sure it would. I’m not that stupid,” I turned and went back to the pilot seat. 

“Why did you bother to save my life if you planned to keep me prisoner?” Loki called out to me. “Are you a slaver?” 

“I’m a scavenger. And I thought you were going to stop talking if I gave you a book.” 

“You already saw for yourself that reading in my condition has proven to be problematic,” Loki replied. 

“What do you want me to do? Read it to you?” 

“I doubt you could,” he said. 

For some reason his words made me furious. I marched back to his bunk to find him looking regretful, as if he wished he hadn’t said anything of the sort. I didn’t care. “What makes you think I can’t read?” 

“You said yourself that you spent your childhood living in a wine cellar as an orphan. It’s not clear to me how you might have managed to be an educated orphan. Not only that but the state of this ship is…” he trailed off looking apologetic. 

“Is what?” I demanded to know. “What’s wrong with my ship?” 

“It’s uncivilized,” he said. “It’s filthy.” 

I glanced around. The floor probably hadn’t been swept in a month. There were varios wrappers from protein bars and other packaged meals lying everywhere. There was pile of unwashed dishes on a counter. Bunk two was stuffed full a random mixture of my clothes, spare computer parts, hoses, and boxes of drone attachments. Bunk one, where I slept had an unmade bed with a blanket hanging out and dragging on the floor. The place actually was filthy and I had honestly never cared, until now. 

“Just because I don’t have maids to clean up after me doesn’t mean I’m stupid,” I said, barely holding back my anger. 

“Of course not. There is a great deal of difference between being illiterate and being stupid. It’s not your fault if you were never educated to read or to clean up after yourself.” 

In my anger I almost missed it, the amusement on his face. He hid it well and I was so furious that I almost didn’t see it. Then I realised, he was trying to make me angry. He was trying to make me so angry that I would open up the bars on his bunk. I took a step back, forcing myself to calm down. 

“I learned to read at the temple,” I said, more calmly than I felt. I turned to my drone who sat resting in the corner. “Bot, clean this place up,” I said as I went back to the pilot seat. 

I refused to look back at Loki while Bot cleaned around me. Thankfully, Loki didn’t try to talk to me anymore. A couple of hours passed in silence and I needed to use the bathroom. I went to the small bathroom and used it, realizing when I was done that if I needed it, Loki probably did by now too. I was going to have to let him out of the bunk somehow. The first thing I did was open all the cabinets and remove everything that could be used as a weapon. Razors, scissors, even the nail file. I threw it all into a box and put it on bunk two along with the rest of the junk. Then I turned to bunk three and tried figure out how I was going to do this. 

Loki’s eyes fell on the key in my hand. “If you open this cage, I’m not going to hurt you. I have no reason to harm the person who saved my life.” 

“I can think of a few reasons that might not be true,” I said. I reached for the lock with trembling hands. “Bot, come over here. Stand guard.” 

Bot stood in a defensive stance as I unlocked the cage and rolled up the metal bars into the ceiling with a crank. Loki turned and got to his feet. I pointed to the bathroom, hardly able to look at him. “Go,” I said. 

A short time later Loki emerged from the bathroom. He stood outside the bathroom door as if waiting for my instructions on what to do next but he somehow looked amused about the entire thing. His amusement frightened me. It made me think that he knew he could overpower me even in chains and was just waiting for his opportunity to do so. I wanted to tell him to go back to the bunk but the fear that he would disobey stopped me from speaking. If he said no, what would I do? I couldn’t hope to fight him and I was pretty sure I couldn’t convince him to obey me either. 

“Are you going back to the bunk?” I finally asked him. 

“Must I?” he replied. “I’m not going to hurt you if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“Why should I believe that?” 

“Because,” he held his hands up and the vibranium cuffs fell to the floor. “I figured out how to get these off hours ago. And I could have broken that flimsy aluminum cage at any time. If I meant you any harm it would already be too late.” 

I took a step back, horrified at the position I had found myself in. We were in deep space, with no hope to escape, and I was totally defenseless. “I shouldn’t have helped you…” I muttered. I hadn’t meant to start crying but fear and hopelessness does weird things to people. I angrily brushed away my tears and turned away from him to return to the pilot seat. To my great relief, he did not follow me to the copilot seat. Instead he went back to the bunk and to his book without another word. 

I opened one of the panels beneath the console and pulled out a jug of ale. I needed something to calm my frayed nerves. I awoke some hours later with my head on the console, an empty bottle of ale in my lap and Loki sat in the copilot seat. 

“I think I’ve figured out how to fly this thing,” he said. 

I lifted my head, doing my best to ignore the headache. “Why, are you planning a mutiny?” 

“There’s no need for that. We are heading to Laxus Three?” 

“Yeah,” I confirmed. I looked at the ship’s clock for the time. “I’ve been out for six hours?” 

“You have,” Loki replied. “I finished your book. I spent a little time cleaning the place. Bot didn’t do such a good job. No offense.” 

I glanced around to see that the ship looked cleaner than it ever had. “None taken, but I’ve never met a prince who cleans…” 

“I’ve never met an orphan who owns her own spaceship.” 

I got to my feet, needing to stretch my legs and needing to think. Loki had been on my ship for twelve hours and thus far had proven himself to be perfectly harmless. Maybe this trip to Laxus Three would turn out okay after all. I hadn’t exactly been nice to him thus far though. If I wanted things to continue to go smoothly, I knew I needed to make an effort to be friendly, in spite of friendliness being against my instincts. 

“Speaking of spaceships,” I turned to him. “What happened to yours?” 

“It was blown up by a warlord called Thanos,” he told me. “My brother was on that ship, all the people I grew up with…” 

“I’m sorry,” I told him, dredging up what compassion I could for his plight. I never had any brothers or friends growing up but I knew what it was to hurt and could see that he was hurting. That would have to be enough. 

“Once we reach Laxus Three, I’ll need to get to Midgard. There are people there who need to know about Thanos. Where will you go from there? Or is Laxus Three your home now?” 

“This ship is my home. I’ll sell my salvage findings and then move on to the next site. It’s what I always do,” I explained. 

“That must be a lonely existence,” he commented. 

“There’s nothing wrong with lonely. Being alone is the same as being safe.” 

“So that’s why you’re like this,” Loki said as if he understood some great truth about me. 

“Like what?” I asked, offended. 

“Defensive. Most people think there is safety in numbers. Who hurt you that you think otherwise?”

I didn’t like the way he was looking at me as if he could see right through me or into me, as if he understood me when he couldn’t possibly understand. “Maybe I just don’t like people very much.” 

Loki shook his head as if he didn’t believe me but he didn’t push the issue. “Pardon my rudeness for asking but is there something else I can eat? Healing takes a great deal of energy.” 

“Sure,” I got up and went to the back. I was hungry too by then. I brought back a box of prepackaged foods and let him have his pick, taking a protein bar for myself. I could tell by watching him that he didn’t like the food. He didn’t utter a word of complaint but he definitely didn’t like it. “Sorry, it’s probably not what a prince is used to eating.” 

“It’s fine,” he said. “Though, it’s not clear to me why you eat this sort of thing when you have space to cook better food.” 

I glanced over at my kitchen area. The pile of dirty dishes were gone, making both the sink and cooking unit visible for the first time in weeks. “Cause usually I don’t have a place to cook.” 

“You could if you…” he trailed off before accusing me of being lazy. 

“You don’t get it. You don’t understand how hard it is to get stuff done when there’s nothing…” I almost said nothing worth living for. 

“You might be surprised,” he replied. 

An alarm started beeping on the console in front of me. I leaned forward to check the messages. The screen read Regulator Valve Blockage. “Oh shit,” I said aloud. “We have to drop out of hyperdrive.” 

“Why?” Loki asked me. 

“Because my ship needs a new regulator filter. I’ve needed one for weeks.” I explained as I dropped us out of hyperdrive. “Without the filter I keep getting blockage and I have to manually clean it out. This will be the third time.” 

Loki raised an eyebrow with amusement on his face and I could tell he was thinking about making a joke about my voluntarily cleaning anything. 

“Don’t say it,” I said, getting to my feet to gather supplies. I gathered the tools, a bucket, and a ladder. Then I started stripping off my layers of clothes before I began. I could tell Loki was wondering what I was doing. “This can get really messy,” I explained as I removed my boots and then my short brown jacket. “If I’m gonna get drenched in oil I’d rather not ruin all my clothes.” 

“Understood,” he said. “Is there anything I can do to help?” 

“You’d best not. We don’t have extra clothes for you,” I said, stripping off my pale blue tunic so I was down to a white tank top and dark blue pants. I put the ladder in place and took a breath before I moved to make the climb up to the ceiling panel. From where he sat Loki was going to be able to see my back and he was going to ask questions that I didn’t want to answer. 

Steeling myself, I made the climb up the steps to the ceiling panel. As I removed the screws and slid the panel out of place I could feel my fairy wing breaking free of the fabric of my tank top. The heavy jacket I wore most of the time was enough to keep the single wing folded out of the way. The soft cotton wasn’t enough. I placed the bucket under the valve and reached up with my tools to open it. Oil began to pour out a heavy rate. Some of it splattered down my shirt, on my face, and down the rungs of the ladder. The oil finally stopped flowing just before the bucket was full. I closed the valve and moved to push the panel back into place, forgetting just how slippery the rungs of the ladder had become. I remember falling but I don’t remember hitting the floor. 

I woke up on the floor of the shower with a warm stream of water flowing over me. I was fully clothed but nearly clean and Loki stood in the bathroom near the sink, watching me with concern. 

“I was beginning to worry you might not wake up,” he said with sincerity. 

“It wasn’t that far of a fall,” I said, reaching for one of the faucet knobs to help me pull myself upright. 

“No, but I’ve heard tales that faeries are rather frail.” 

“I’m not so frail,” I said defensively. “I survived Malekith.” 

“Did he tear off your other wing?” Loki asked me, pointedly. 

So he had guessed the truth rather quickly. “Yes,” I said, barely able to speak. 

“I’m sorry,” Loki said. “I’ll go, and you can change out of your wet clothes.” 

He left me alone in the bathroom. I found that he had left a few dry items of clothing from off of bunk two for me. I dried and changed quickly, leaving my wing exposed to the air to dry for a while longer. I went out of the bathroom and took the box of junk I had gathered earlier of bathroom items and took out my comb. I sat down in the pilot seat and began to comb my dark brown hair. Loki had apparently already cleaned up the ladder and oil spill. He sat in the copilot seat trying to pretend he wasn’t concerned about me but I could see that he was and I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. 

Wordlessly I put the ship back on course for Laxus Three. I braided my wet hair into a single long braid. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Loki. I didn’t want him feeling sorry for me or asking questions because I was pretty sure that if he did either one it was going to be difficult for me to keep a lid on my emotions. 

“If you don’t mind,” he said after an uncomfortable silence. “I think I’ll get some sleep now.” 

“Sure,” I nodded, still not looking at him. 

Shortly after Loki fell asleep in his bunk my exhaustion began to take over and I climbed into my own bunk and went to sleep. I awoke in the morning and found that Loki was awake in his bunk and was reading one of my other books. I jumped down from my bunk and went to the bathroom. Then with a sigh I went to the cooking unit with the intention of trying to cook some actual food. I made enough oatmeal and dried fruit for the both of us and left a bowl out for Loki but took my own serving over to the pilot’s seat. Moments later he joined me there. 

“Does it hurt?” Loki asked me as he took his seat, bowl of oatmeal in hand. “Your wing?” 

I glanced back at my intact wing and realized for the first time that it was torn. “Oh,” I said a little surprised to see the injury. “I hadn’t realized… did that happen when I fell?” 

He nodded. “So it doesn’t hurt?” 

“No it does, but it always hurts because I keep it folded,” I explained, standing up to reach the first aid kit in an overhead compartment. 

“It seems too lovely to keep folded and hidden,” he said. 

My wing was transparent with hints of rainbow colors in the right light. If I’d still had both wings he might have been right. I sat down with the first aid kit in my lap and just glared at him. “One wing. I have only one wing. If I don’t keep it hidden I look like a moron.” 

“I doubt that. In fact I know it.” 

I ignored him and took out a can of spray from the first aid kit. I aimed it at the torn part of the wing and sprayed, missing where I meant it to go entirely. 

“Let me do it?” Loki offered. 

Reluctantly I handed over the spray and let him help me. I felt relief when the mist hit my wing and as the pain eased, my breathing relaxed. 

“I imagine you must have a lot of pain keeping this wing hidden if you thought it being torn felt normal. I can see you’re feeling better now.” he said as he placed the spray back in the kit on my lap. “Does it really matter that much what people might think of you?” 

I shut the first aid kit rather roughly and shoved it back into the ceiling compartment and then I sat back down and opened another panel below the console where I had stashed more bottles of ale. “If you want me to talk about my wings, I’m gonna need this.” 

“Fair enough,” Loki agreed. He went to the kitchen area and took down a tin cup then rejoined me. I filled his cup with ale without being asked. “So what happened? What did Malekith do to you?”


	2. Chapter 2

The story of how I lost my wing to Malekith was really a rather simple story. I stole wine from the royal wine cellar on more than one occasion and when I was caught, the king decided on public humiliation for my punishment. I was brought before the royal court to be stripped of my wing. It was that simple. Except it wasn’t simple. It was a trauma that had haunted me for years, so much, that I couldn’t even speak of it without being drunk. 

I was more than halfway through the jug of ale when I finished telling Loki my story. There was sadness in his eyes as he listened and I realized that he wasn’t nearly as drunk as I was. I guess it made sense that he wouldn’t be. He was too resilient to get drunk very easily. 

“I met Malekith once,” Loki told me. “He was a very powerful foe. Thor very nearly defeated him but Malekith fled the battle.” 

“That sounds like him,” I said, or more like sputtered. “He wasn’t ashamed to retreat when it suited him.” 

“Apparently he had no shame. Not if he could dismember an orphan over a petty crime,” Loki said and he actually sounded angry. 

“But I was a thief,” I argued. “I probably deserved some sort of punishment.” 

“Perhaps, but not that,” Loki said. 

“It’s not as if a cell would hold me for long. I can teleport if there is no magic interfering to stop me.” 

“Even so, he had no right to take your wing from you over a few bottles of wine.” 

I liked that he sounded defensive of me. It wasn’t something I was accustomed to hearing from anyone. “Maybe I should save people’s lives more often,” I muttered. “It makes them be nice to me.” 

Loki smiled a little at that. “It wouldn’t have taken you rescuing me from space. I always wanted to meet a faerie.” 

“You did?” 

He nodded, “Definitely. Your magic is different than my own. I have always wondered how it works.” 

I held out my hands to try making a ball of light to show him. The light didn’t form. “It doesn’t work at all when I’ve had this much to drink.” 

“Yes, perhaps you should put that away now.” 

I didn’t want to put it away just because he told me to but some part of me knew I was reaching my limit. I clumsily opened the panel below the console and put half bottle of ale back inside. 

“I still don’t understand how you are from Asgard and Jotunheim. Aren’t they enemies?” I asked him, my confusion coming to the surface. 

So Loki went on to explain to me how he had been born on Jotunheim and adopted by Odin of Asgard. He told me how this betrayal had led to his meeting Thanos, invading Midgard, losing the trust of his brother Thor. I don’t know at what point in his story I passed out but when I woke up I could smell food cooking. I lifted my aching head and found that Loki was cooking something. Whatever it was, it smelled better than protein bars or even oatmeal ever could.

“I thought real food might do the both of us good,” Loki said as explanation. He passed me a plate. 

“Thank you,” I took the plate and started to eat. It was amazing. “How did you learn to cook like this? Cooking doesn’t seem like a skill they teach princes.” 

“It wasn’t. I learned after leaving Asgard. I had to take care of myself and food for the common people was of terrible quality. If I wanted something decent I had to make it myself.” 

I took another bite of this amazing food. “I never realized common food was so bad before.” 

Loki smiled at my unintentional compliment. We finished our meal in amicable silence. I set my plate aside, remembering that he had wanted to see my magic, and I held out my hands to form a ball of light. He watched me with fascination at the light formed in my hands. 

“You can use that defensively?” he asked me, curious. 

“I can. I can either throw it like a projectile at a single target or I can make a larger ball of light and force the entire thing into a radius around me.” 

“How powerful is it? Would it take down an elf or an Asgardian if you needed it to?” 

“One yes,” I replied. “Maybe two, but only under the right conditions, like if they were unsuspecting or weakened. My defensive powers aren’t all that strong.I can knock over an enemy. I can make myself invisible or teleport short distances. Once an enemy catches me though, if they have any blocking magic, I’m pretty much helpless.” 

“Then you should have allies to prevent that from happening,” he told me. 

“It’s not such a simple thing to get allies,” I pointed out. 

“It is when you save their lives,” Loki said very seriously. 

I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say. “Are you offering me...protection?” 

“I told you, I’ve always wanted to meet a fairy. There are so few of you left and your magic is fascinating. And then to have a faerie save my life...if you want protection, I will give it. I feel I owe you that, but I do have to go to Midgard and help with the threat of Thanos. I would gladly take you with me if you wanted to go. Though if you prefer to continue scavenging on your own, I understand.” 

I felt myself starting to cry before I fully understood why. No one had ever offered me anything like this before, least of all not someone powerful enough to actually provide protection. He had spent more than an hour in open space, had broken out of my vibranium cuffs. I doubted much of anything could kill him. If I accepted his offer, no one would ever be able to hurt me like Malekith had, ever again. “For how long? What if you get sick of me?” 

Loki took a look around the ship, probably remembering the state it had been in when he first arrived. “You could as easily grow tired of me. Besides, I am not proposing marriage, though I wouldn’t be opposed to sharing your bed if you wanted to. I am only proposing that we travel together so I can ensure that no harm befalls you.” 

My jaw dropped open and I forced myself to shut it again. He wanted to share a bed with me? I wasn’t sure when I had moved past being afraid of him into being fascinated by the idea of being his lover but now that it had occurred to me, I couldn’t deny that this was something I did want. It had been a long time since I’d been with a man. The last time it had been another faerie though and at the time I’d still had both of my wings. The prospect of allowing anyone to see the full view of the scars on my back filled me with a new wave of anxiety. I reached for the panel below the console. “I need a drink.”

He put his hand on the panel to keep me from opening it. “No, I don’t think you do.” 

“This is my ship and it’s my ale. Who are you to tell me I can’t have any?” I argued. 

“I didn’t forbid you. I told you that you didn’t need it, and you don’t. You might consider actually facing your emotions for once instead of drowning them in ale.” 

“I’ve tried that before too,” I continued to argue. “It doesn’t work. Ale does.” 

“Maybe it didn’t work because you were trying to face it alone. You don’t have to be alone now,” he said sincerely. 

“Why?” I breathed the question, finally allowing my tears to be shed. “Why are you offering to help me? Just cause I picked you up with the rest of the wreckage? Any decent person would have done that. It doesn’t mean I deserve your help or your...protection,” I sobbed. 

He reached over and brushed away some of my tears with his own hand. “You risked danger to yourself to rescue me and given what you’ve already been through, it wasn’t as simple as being something any decent person would do. What you did was very brave. Besides the fact that I had already been suffering in space for a long while before your ship arrived. I wasn’t ready to die. I owe you a debt, and if you let me, I intend to pay it.” 

I pulled away from his touch against my cheek, frightened at the intensity of my own feelings. I got to my feet and took both our plates. “I really should wash these.” 

In spite of the small space we shared, I managed to avoid Loki for a few hours. I spent the time washing dishes, doing laundry, taking care of small repairs, all tasks I hated, but I did them just so I wouldn’t have to face him. Then I set to work trying to organize all the junk in bunk two. By the time I finally ran out of things to do, I found Loki sitting in the copilot seat reading the third book from my library. 

“That’s the last one,” I commented as I took my seat. “You’re going to get very bored over the next couple of weeks.”

 

He gave me an amused look. “I imagine we can think of something to entertain ourselves.”

I felt myself blushing. “Are you hungry?” I needed to change the subject. 

“Yes, but there’s no need to cook anything. Something out of your box of supplies will do fine.” 

“You think I can’t cook?” My instinctive reaction was to be defensive. I couldn’t help it. 

“No, I think you’ve probably done as much cleaning for one day as you’re going to and if you cook there will be dishes left overnight,” he said quite honestly. 

“No one is gonna die from dishes being left overnight,” I replied. “Besides, if it bothers you, feel free to wash them.” 

“I’d rather not. Yesterday I already washed every dish you own and cleaned the entire ship.” he reminded me. “I believe it’s your turn.” 

“Am I the only one who finds you to be this irritating or does your brother think so too?” 

Loki smiled a little. “If that ship that picked him up got him in time, then yes, he finds me as irritating as you do.” 

I sighed. “Fine, I’m gonna cook something and I promise I won’t leave any dirty dishes overnight.” 

“Thank you,” Loki said and went back to his book while I made an attempt at cooking. 

My food really wasn’t as good as what he had made but it still wasn’t bad. I washed the dishes after we had eaten while he took a shower. I climbed into my bunk to go to sleep before he exited the bathroom. I heard him settle into his bunk but I refused to look at him. The minutes ticked by and I couldn’t sleep. All I could think about was the feeling of his hand against my cheek and his invitation to share his bed, his offer of protection. I wanted that. I wanted him. I jumped down from my bunk and landed softly. I approached his bunk and stood at his bedside, unsure what to say or what to do next. He was awake. He moved to one side to make space for me. 

“Are you coming?” he finally asked me. 

I climbed into the space next to him and his arms came around me, pulling me close to him. His kisses at first were warm and gentle and I all but melted at the sensations he was bringing me. He deepened the kiss and held me a little more firmly as he did so. My torn wing was squeezed a little too hard in the embrace and I let out a cry of pain. Loki immediately let me go. 

“Are you alright? What happened?” he asked me, still breathing deeply from desire but willing enough to let me go when I had indicated I needed it. 

“My wing,” I said as explanation. 

“Then unfold it and let it free,” he suggested. 

Hesitantly, I sat up enough to pull my shirt off and let my torn wing unfold freely. He reached out and touched the uninjured part. “Will it heal?” he asked me, his fingers moving nearer the torn part but never touching the tear. 

“Probably,” I told him honestly. “It will if I stop folding it under my clothes and get some sunlight or even artificial sun.” 

“Then stop folding it,” he told me, a mixture of irritation and concern. 

“Why does it matter? I’m not even a whole faerie anymore anyhow.” I said with a sob. 

Loki looked saddened by my words. “I don’t know what to say to convince you otherwise, except that I think you’re lovely just the way you are.” 

“Even with this?” I rolled over and let him see my back. All my anxiety about him see it was below the below the surface and in that moment I only had anger that he could be so wrong about me. 

He reached over and touched the mottled scars on my back. The remnants from where Malekith had torn off my wing with his own hand. “Especially with this. It means you are stronger than you know.” 

At that, I couldn’t stop crying. Loki held me while I cried, which was for a very long time. When I had finally calmed myself he kissed me again and we finished what we had started. 

I didn’t sleep in my own bunk again for the entire trip to Laxus Three. I usually slept on the inside wall of the bunk leaving the outside edge for Loki. It wasn’t a lot of space for either of us but I felt safer that way, as if he were between me and any potential threats. We still argued about my being a mess sometimes and I made fun of him for being too civilized but they were only minor irritations. I could see that he enjoyed being protective of me, as if protecting a faerie was a privilege that few people ever got. I had never been treated in such a manner in all my life, especially not by a prince. When we finally reached Laxus Three we found half of it was gone, dead. We reboarded my ship and immediately set course for Midgard. There was no way I wasn’t going with him now. I would have followed him anywhere. 

Loki managed to get a message to his brother Thor to tell him we were on our way. I expected he might be anxious about meeting what was left of the Avengers given that the last time he has seen them he’d been an enemy. Loki didn’t seem anxious at all. I found that I was the one who was anxious. As he landed my ship in a place called Wakanda, I was rummaging through my clothes to find my heavy brown jacket. The ship touched down to earth and Loki came to the back of the ship and put his hand on my shoulder. I was struggling to fold my wing into place under the jacket. 

“You don’t need to wear that,” he told me gently. 

“Yes, I do,” I said, my voice shaken. 

“Then let me help you fold it so you don’t hurt yourself.” he offered. 

We exited the ship and found several people waiting for us. Loki stepped forward and hugged one of them who had to be Thor. 

“Brother, this is Jaece,” Loki introduced us. “She picked me up in space after the explosion and saved my life.” 

“Then I owe you my thanks,” Thor said. 

I was soon introduced to several other people but not being so good with names, I didn’t remember them all right away. We began walking across a field towards a set of buildings. The climate in this place was very warm. Too warm for my heavy jacket. I was soon drenched with sweat and beginning to feel weak. Loki realized something was wrong and broke off his conversation with Thor. 

“Jaece?” 

“I’m alright,” I said. 

He shook his head. “Just take off the jacket and be done with it. No one here is going to care.” 

“I’m fine!” I insisted.It was one thing to let him see my single wing and quite another to allow these midgardians, who had never even seen a faerie, to stare at me. 

“If you pass out from a heat stroke, I’m not going to carry you,” Loki said. 

“Yes you will,” I replied without missing a beat. 

“I suppose I will, but before I do, I’ll remove that jacket.” 

Thor and the rest of the Avengers were watching this exchange intently, unsure what to make of the two of us. 

“Fine!” I said, stripping off the jacket. I threw it at his head, using a little of my magic to make it cross the distance between us but not nearly enough to hurt him. 

Loki caught the jacket easily enough and tucked it under his arm. I was wearing a dark blue tank top under the jacket and within moments of stripping it off, my wing unfolded from my back and caught the breeze, opening up to full size. The Avengers looked a little amazed. 

“She is a faerie?” Thor spoke up. 

Loki nodded. “Malekith tore off one of her wings long ago.” 

“I should have killed him when I had the chance,” Thor said and at that the group stopped gazing at me and continued walking. 

Before we reached the buildings the Avengers had gone on ahead and Loki fell behind to walk with me. “They say we may take shelter here for as long as we like.” 

“So is this supposed to be home now?” I asked him. 

“It could be. Or your ship could be home. I don’t care much either way.” 

He was saying that home for him was where I was. I felt the same way about him but didn’t know how to say it. “Neither do I,” I finally managed to reply, a little choked up. 

We soon gathered into a conference room where the group was working on some sort of a plan to still try and defeat Thanos. There was a man already in the room who hadn’t been outside. He was introduced to me as Tony Stark. Various plans were discussed and then as Tony Stark stepped to one side to put up another display on the view screen he bumped into my open wing. He was wholly distracted by it for some reason, probably from a scientific perspective and started asking me questions. 

“So are these made of the same cellular structure as insects wings?” he asked me, forgetting his view screen entirely. 

“I don’t know,” I told him honestly. 

“Well you clearly have a costal margin and subcostal veins,” he said, reaching out to touch my wing. “I wonder if…” 

I didn’t hear the rest of what he said. The feeling of this stranger’s hand on my wing induced an entirely unexpected sense of panic. I flinched. I made some sort of whimper of fear and in that instant, Loki was there between me and Stark. 

“Don’t touch her,” Loki said firmly. 

Stark raised his hands as if in surrender and took a step back. “Okay, I get it. The faerie belongs to the Norse god. The puny human won’t touch.”

It was too late though. My mind had already drifted back to that horrific day. I well remember the feeling of Malekith’s hands on my wing, the tearing, the searing pain as he tore a part of me away. I couldn’t breathe. Some part of me was aware that it was only a memory, that I wasn’t really standing before the Dark Elf court, bleeding and humiliated, but I couldn’t breathe all the same. I was dimly aware of Loki picking me up and carrying me out of the conference room. Thor followed us close by and the rest of the Avengers at a distance. Loki carried me out of the building, back across the field, and into my ship. He placed me on his bunk almost against the wall and climbed into the bed after me. He shielded me with his body and didn’t seem to care that his brother and the Avengers were watching the whole scene with concern.

“It’s alright. You’re not there,” Loki told me again and again. “You’re safe.” It took a little time, but eventually it worked. Eventually, I found my way out of my nightmare and understood that I was safe again. My panicked breathing changed to sobs, a combination of anguish for what I had lost and thankfulness for what he had done. Loki sat up and pulled me into his lap, turning so that his back was too the wall and he could see his brother. I remained cocooned in his embrace and did my best not to look at anyone. 

“Okay, what just happened?” Stark said, from where he stood at the open cargo bay doors. “I’m guessing she had a panic attack and it’s probably related to whatever happened to her other wing?” 

“Yes,” Loki agreed. “I meant no insult when I asked you not to touch her. I only wanted to protect her.” 

“Why did Malekith take her wing?” Thor asked from the bedside. 

“For theft, theft of wine,” Loki explained, clearly angry to even speak of it. “He brought her before the court of Dark Elves and sentenced her publically to a wing clipping. It is the worst punishment a faerie can be given on Svartalheim.” 

“I can imagine it is,” Tony said, sounding a bit horrified. “I apologize for dredging all that up again.” he took a step back as if to leave. 

“It’s as much my fault as yours,” Loki said. “She wanted to keep her wing hidden and I insisted there was no need. I exposed her when I should have been protecting her.” 

“You didn’t,” I finally spoke up. “I should have stopped hiding my wing a long time ago. If I had, I’d be used to this sort of thing by now.” 

“There’s no need for you to hide your wing here,” Thor said. “Faeries are greatly respected among my people and the people of Midgard can be very tolerant when they need to be.” 

Once they realized I was alright, Thor and the Avengers left Loki and I alone. 

“I want to stay here,” I said with a sigh. 

“On Midgard?” he asked me. 

“On Midgard or on this ship or back on Laxus Three. I don’t care. I just want to be where you are.” 

He smiled a little and then he kissed me, deeply, and I knew he wanted the same of me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I thought this story was done but then I found another chapter in my brain.

After four days of living in Wakanda, I felt only slightly more comfortable with being among the humans of Midgard. Loki and I had been given an apartment in the same building where the rest of the Avengers were staying. No one considered offering us separate quarters, there was just this assumption that we would prefer to remain together and both of us were willing enough to do just that. The apartment was small but larger than my ship had been. I had difficulty adjusting to human technology. The difficulty was in adjusting to the people. I generally went where Loki went and I realized right away that aside from Thor, these humans did not trust him. Every time Loki walked into a room, there was this unspoken tension. No one talked about it but I could see that it was there. It was there in their unwillingness to include him in their plans to defeat Thanos. It was there in the little jabs and insults that Stark would throw out from time to time. I noticed that Steve Rogers avoided speaking to Loki at all. What I didn’t know was why. I mean, I knew that Loki had brought the Chitauri to one of Earth’s cities, that Thanos had sent him. But Loki hadn’t been given a choice in that, and when given the chance he had tried to kill Thanos. I didn’t understand why they couldn’t see that Loki could at the very least be their ally and a powerful one at that. Maybe they couldn’t forgive him, but they could still use his help. 

The morning of my fifth day on earth, Loki and I joined Thor and his friends in one of the conference rooms for yet another planning session. We were the last to arrive. 

“You’ve started without us?” Loki spoke up, seeing the obvious. 

“We have a task for you brother,” Thor replied. “We had hoped you would go to London for us. There is a facility there that is able to send a signal to space. We have a contact that may be able to sell us a ship large enough for an army. If you could handle the transaction it would be very helpful.” 

Loki narrowed his eyes. We both knew that thus far he hadn’t been allowed to help with anything. “Why me?” 

“Our contact is on a world you have visited. None of us are familiar with their ways. Besides you are good with words,” Thor explained. “You wished to contribute to the cause. This can be your contribution.” 

“Fine. We’ll go this afternoon.” Loki agreed. 

“Ah, not the faerie,” Stark spoke up. “We actually need her here for something.” 

Now Loki was hesitant. “For what?” 

“We want to bring what’s left of the Dark Elves over to our cause. We need her to help with maps and contacts,” Stark said. 

“Don’t worry Loki,” Thor added. “No harm will come to her. I will see to it myself.” 

Loki looked to me, as if asking my permission. I nodded. “I’ll be fine. It can’t take more than a few days anyway.” 

I helped Loki pack up his things and then Thor and I said our goodbyes to him. Thor walked with me back to the conference room. “What was that all about?” I asked the group as soon as I had entered the room. “I know you have maps of Svartalfheim and I’m not a cartographer. Why did you need Loki gone?” 

“Because we needed to ask you for faerie dust,” Bruce told me. “We were a little concerned about how your boyfriend might react to that. He’s kinda overprotective of you.” 

“Oh,” I let out a breath. “But I only have one wing. I can’t produce much dust anymore.” I knew where this was going. Faerie dust came from the natural shedding of my wings, almost like a bird molting. If they needed a significant amount, the only way to get it was to take the whole wing. “How much do you need?” I asked, hardly able to breath. 

Thor reached over and put his hand on my shoulder. I flinched a little without meaning to. “You are free to say no. This is not something anyone here is willing to force you to do.”

“Aren’t there any drugs or science on this planet that you can use instead?” I asked biting back my panic. 

“We need to get close to Thanos. I’ve been running tests,” Stark explained. “I got a little of your dust a few days back. It might be the only thing that that can distract and confuse him long enough for someone to get the gauntlet. If there was another way, I wouldn’t ask.” 

I stood there a moment, fighting my desire to just teleport away from this entire thing. Loki wasn’t so far away. I could teleport to him and we could both just leave, leave this world, leave all this behind. Then I looked up at their faces as they stood their waiting for my decision. They had all lost people they loved when Thanos won. Was it really fair to them to say no? I’d already lost one wing anyway, and the only person I loved was still living. 

“Okay,” I said, jaw trembling. “But I’m not doing it without Loki. I need him to be here.” 

Stark looked hesitant. “I don’t think Loki would let this happen. He’s too irrational where you’re concerned. That’s why we made sure he wasn’t here when we told you.” 

“I don’t think...he’s not…” I started and then stopped, seeing the looks they were giving me. 

Natasha raised an eyebrow. “Jaece, he shields you like you’re gonna break. If he were here, he would try to stop it. The thing is, I know you’re not gonna break. You’re actually pretty tough. You survived Malekith and you can survive this surgery if you’re willing to do it. Loki will be there a few hours after it’s over.” 

I brushed away a few unwanted tears. “When?” 

“Tomorrow morning,” Bruce said. 

I nodded, brushed away a few tears, and fled the room. Instead of going back to the apartment, I went back to my ship. I curled up in my old bunk and cried myself to sleep. A few hours later I awoke to the sound of knocking on my cargo bay doors. I jumped down from my bunk and opened the doors. It was Natasha with a tray of food, along with Tony Stark. I waved them inside while I went to the front of the ship and pulled some ale from my stash. 

“You know it’s usually not a good idea to drink this close to surgery,” Tony pointed out as he leaned up against the counter and Nat sat down in the copilot seat. 

“It’s not a good idea that I be sober right now either,” I said, sitting in the pilot’s seat and taking the tray of food from Nat. 

The two of them didn’t talk. They just watched me with concern while I ate and downed a bottle of ale. I pulled out a second bottle about the time that Thor wandered in through the open door. 

“Does Loki know you drink so much?” Thor asked me. 

“I think I’m entitled to a drink given everything that’s going on right now,” I replied, defensive. 

“It’s not just today though, is it?” Nat asked. “There were a lot of empty bottles in that console space just now.” 

I downed another gulp of ale. “He knows,” I said, my voice a little raw from both the drink and all the recent crying. “He knows and he told me I should try facing my emotions instead of drowning them in alcohol.” 

“Wise words,” Thor commented. 

“Well, he is a very wise man,” I agreed. 

“Have you taken his advice?” Nat asked me. “Have you faced it?” 

“I haven’t had to. He promised me that no one would ever hurt me like Malekith again, that no one would take a part of me…” I choked on my words unable to finish them. I picked up the ale and drank down another gulp. 

“You don’t have to do this,” Thor said gently. “No one would think any less of you if you said no.” 

“I do have to do this,” I said, knowing it to be true. “There are hardly any faeries left in the world. If you need faerie dust it will have to come from me.” 

“I had something taken from me too,” Nat said. “I can never have children, I didn’t choose that. It doesn’t make me any less a woman. The loss of your wings won’t make you any less a faerie. And at least this would have a purpose, it wouldn't be for nothing.” 

“It’s a nice sentiment,” I said, drinking more of the ale. “But right now I just want to get through the night.” 

I stayed in the ship that night. I didn’t sleep well. I mostly slept fitfully and drank myself into oblivion. I knew that the right thing to do was to help these people, no matter what it cost me. I woke the next morning and crossed the field to the building with a heavy heart. Thor met me in the doorway. I thought at first that he intended to walk with me to the operating room but instead he blocked the doorway, arms crossed. 

“I can not let you do this,” he said sadly. 

“What? But I thought…” 

“It was Stark’s idea. An idea I never truly approved of. Besides I promised my brother that no harm would befall you. I can not let you do this.” 

“Then how will you distract Thanos without the faerie dust?” 

“I do not know. I only know that my brother trusted me to look out for you and I cannot betray his trust. We will find another way.” Thor said. 

I felt myself collapsing and Thor caught me before I hit the ground. My relief was overwhelming. I hadn’t wanted to do this. I truly felt I had no choice, that these people depended on me to sacrifice my wing for them. Now he was telling me it was a sacrifice I didn’t have to make, that he wasn’t going to allow me to make. He kept his arm around me and walked with me to the hospital wing of the building and made the announcement himself that was not going to allow the surgery to happen. The argument that followed was brief. I soon found myself back in my apartment waiting for Loki to return. Thor waited with me. 

As soon as he came through the doors, Loki knew something was wrong. I looked worn out and defeated. Plus the fact that Thor was there. 

“What happened?” Loki asked either of us. 

“Stark had a plan that needed faerie dust, needed her wing,” Thor explained. “I did not allow it to happen.” 

Loki looked stunned, then furious. “I’ll kill him.” 

Thor caught his arm. “No brother, I am as much at fault as he is for not putting a stop to it sooner.” 

Loki then looked to me. “Are you alright?” 

I nodded and crossed the room to hug him. “I’m okay.” He hadn’t been gone long, but it was good that he was back. I had missed him. 

A knock sounded at the door and rather than interrupt us, Thor answered the door. He opened the door and Bruce Banner stepped into the room. “I had an idea,” Bruce said then stopped short. “Oh, Loki’s back.” 

“Yes, he is,” I said pulling free of Loki’s hug. “What is your idea?” 

“Well… the thing is, I think there may be a way to get the faerie dust and in instead of losing your wing, you might be able to get both of them back.” Bruce began. 

“How…?” I asked. This didn’t exactly seem plausible. 

“With stem cells. You have them in the root of your wing. Your other wing was torn off too deeply to save any stem cells or else it should have grown back. But if we did the surgery right and saved the stem cells from the root of your wing, we should be able to implant them so both of your wings would grow back.” 

I couldn’t speak. His explanation made sense. I had heard stories of my people having torn wings regrow but I had long ago lost all hope that mine ever would. 

“Jaece?” Loki broke me from my troubled thoughts. 

“I..I..uh...are you sure it will work?” I finally asked. 

Bruce shook his head, “At this point it’s only a theory. I could run some more tests if you’ll let me.” 

I nodded my agreement. Loki put out a hand as if to stop me. He turned to Bruce. “How is she to know that this isn’t some trick to get her to agree to your plan?" 

Bruce shrugged. “Look, Thor says you’re a pretty smart guy. You can go over all our test results if it helps. It’s not a trick. It was just a solution that I thought might work for everyone.” 

“It’s fine Bruce. I’ll do your tests,” I agreed, then looked at Loki pointedly. “Loki won’t interfere.” 

Loki relaxed his stance a little though he still did seem irritated. 

“Maybe come by the lab in a couple hours and we can get started,” Bruce said, and he left the three of us alone. 

Two hours later Loki went with me to the lab. Bruce was already there as were Tony and Steve. I took a seat in one of the chairs while Bruce took a vial of blood from my arm and then a skin sample from my back. It really didn’t hurt but being touched at the base of my wing had ben made me flinch. 

Loki tensed a little when I flinched and moved from where he stood against the wall as if he was thinking about standing closer. Steve straightened his posture as well about then. 

“I’m okay,” I said to no one in particular as I tried to force myself to breathe normally. 

Then Bruce moved to take another skin sample at the place on my back where my other wing had once been. It was too much. I didn’t consciously teleport away. The reaction was entirely instinctive. Just seconds later I found myself in one of the nearby bathrooms, struggling to breathe and reign in my panic. I curled up on the floor in the corner near a urinal and just tried to make myself calm down enough to go back and finish the test. 

Not ten minutes passed before the bathroom door opened and Steve Rogers came in. “I didn’t expect to find you here.” 

“I don’t even know where here is,” I admitted. 

“Men’s bathroom, three floors up from the lab. A lot of people are looking for you. You okay?” 

I nodded. “I think so. I will be.” 

He crossed the room and sat down on the floor next to me. “You don’t have to go back and do any tests at all if you don’t want to. It isn’t on you to defeat Thanos and it never was.” 

I gave him a look. “So why didn’t you say so yesterday when all of you sent Loki away and made me face this alone?” 

Steve looked down at his hands. “Some of us got a little desperate. We lost a lot of people when Thanos came. Some of us weren’t thinking clearly. I’m sorry.” 

I nodded. I didn’t know what it felt like to lose people like they had. I’d been alone most of my life but I did know what it felt like to be desperate. 

“Besides, it wouldn’t have ever worked. I’m pretty sure Loki would have killed us if we’d gone through with it,” Steve went on. 

“Probably,” I agreed. 

“How did that happen anyway?” Steve asked. “I fought him once a long time ago. Not only was he pretty tough to beat, he was irrational. He couldn’t be reasoned with. He seems pretty rational around you, except for the overprotective part.” 

“Basically, I saved his life and he saved mine,” I explained. 

“And he’s actually nice to you and doesn’t try to keep reminding you he’s a god and all that?” Steve asked, both curious and concerned. 

“He mentioned he his a prince, but never a god. And yes, he is kind to me. The angriest I have ever seen him is when I once left a pile of dirty laundry in his path and he tripped over it. He threw around a lot of socks in a fit but that was all. I’m basically a mess and he’s the opposite. He keeps reminding me that he always thought faeries would be more orderly and I remind him that I thought princes would worry a little less.” I explained with a small smile. 

Steve regarded me with a little confusion before speaking again. “Look, I know earth isn’t your world, and you’ve never even been to New York but…” 

“But how can I forgive what he did there?” I knew what he had been trying to ask. “You know Thanos didn’t really give him a choice, right?” 

“So I’ve heard. He could have told someone, like Thor, what Thanos wanted him to do, rather than just obey and invade another planet.” 

“Maybe he could have. I don’t know,” I admitted. “I only know that I was alone before I met Loki and now I’m not. There aren’t many of my people left on Svartalfheim, a few hundred at most. The dark elves let us live there but we aren’t exactly respected. They value strength and violence and compared to them we are weak...weak and vulnerable. Loki told me he owned me a life debt because I rescued him from space but I don’t think he protects me just because of that. I think he is trying to atone for something that he can’t bring himself to speak of. Maybe for his falling out with Thor, maybe for New York, maybe for killing Laufey his biological father...I don’t know. I only know that he is trying to good. I wish the rest of you could see that.” 

Steve said nothing to that but he did seem to be thinking it over. He got to his feet and reached out a hand to help me up. “Loki is checking the eighth floor. I’ll take you back to him.” 

I didn’t really need his help getting back to Loki but I understood the unspoken implication of Steve’s words. He was going with me so he could talk to Loki. It would be the first time since our arrival that Steve had done so. We met several of the others in the stairwell, Tony, Bruce, and Nat. They followed us up to the eighth floor. 

“I found her in the bathroom on five,” Steve said as we met Loki in a hallway. 

He only nodded in response. Before I could tell any of them that I was ready to continue the tests, Steve spoke up again. 

“Loki, there’s something I gotta know.” 

Loki looked a little uncomfortable, as if he knew what was coming. “What do you need to know?” 

“Jaece here seems to think that you regret what happened in New York. Is there any truth to that?” Steve asked just as Thor came out of the stairwell door and joined us in the hallway. 

“Of course there is,” Loki said emphatically. “I have never been a conqueror or cared for feats of battle. I brought the Chitauri because Thanos persuaded me to do so using great violence.” 

“And you didn’t think about possibly telling your brother or anyone what Thanos wanted you to do so we could try and stop him?” Tony spoke up. 

“At the time it wasn’t an option,” Loki said. 

“Well, why not?” Bruce asked. 

“Because he didn’t want Odin to come to his aid,” Thor said sadly. “Am I right, brother?” 

“You’re not wrong. Though I never expected the invasion to succeed. I meant for the tesseract to be taken to Asgard and was willing to go to prison for a time if it meant that Thanos could not reach me and Odin would not help me. The last thing I wanted was his help.” Loki explained. 

“People died for your pride,” Steve said, angry. 

“Fewer people than would have died had Thanos sent Ebony Maw in my stead,” Loki told him. 

“You don’t get to justify it by-” Steve took a step closer and Thor stepped between him and Loki, cutting off the conversation. 

“Enough,” Thor said calmly but firmly. “I do not deny that Loki could have made better choices but what’s done is done. We need to focus on defeating Thanos. It will not help us to fight a battle amongst ourselves. If you remember, my brother was a formidable foe. He would make a better ally.” 

“Point taken,” Steve said, backing off. “Doesn’t mean anything’s forgiven, only that I get it, we have more important things to fight over.” 

“Same here,” Tony said. 

“So uh…” Bruce broke the awkward silence that followed. “Do we want to finish the tests another time or…?” 

“I’m fine. We can do this now,” I agreed. 

We learned over the next few hours that the regrowth of my wings using stem cells was a very real possibility. Surgery was scheduled for the next day and I went to bed that night feeling some combination of terror and hope like I had never felt before. 

“Are you alright?” Loki asked me as I tossed and turned in the bed next to him. “Are you worried about tomorrow?” 

“I am...and I’m not. I mean maybe I can get my wings back. Maybe I can be whole again.” 

“That would be nice,” he said sadly and the way he said it made me realize he wasn’t talking about me. 

“You know what it’s like, not to feel whole?” I asked him. 

He nodded in the darkness but didn’t say a word. 

“I stopped feeling whole when I lost my wing. When did it happen for you?” 

“When I touched the casket of ancient winters and learned from Odin who I truly was. Nothing has been the same since. Sometimes I feel whole, when you are near,” he told me. 

“Me too,” I agreed. 

I rolled closer to him and he put his arms around me to sleep, grateful that I wasn’t alone.


End file.
